It is not you who are talking now

That sentence. Really. really rub me off. Not that i have ever heard it. Normally,  my groupie, friends, my homie, they always ok with me, when me, myself, not due to other people, becoming intoxicated,

Just saying, My Ex-wife did know about this blog. Where when she found out about this blog, she did asked me when did i start to write a blog. and why i, me, wanna write everything here. Maybe it's just in my nature, when i was born as a youngest child of my late father, who was a language teacher, a poet, a journalist in his lifetime. So it seems. But seriously, im enjoying each word, each sentence. each thing that i posted in this.

But now, feeling restless, i just want to jot something down to ease my head

You, whose smile always captivated me, 

You, who i enjoyed to have conversation with,

You, who make me smile each time your text reach me.

This and that happen last night. I don't know, maybe it's me. Ya it's me absolutely.

The end of our conversation was she's scolding me, from outside the car, at the parking lot, distancing herself from me, prohibiting me from coming out from to car to go to her, and asking me to go home. With her fiery eye, and said, "it is not you who are talking now!". God.. that angry face.. that sentence.. i now realised of how a piece of shit am i.

Here i am now at my room, at my desk, in front of the window, the greenery view, with some precipitation outside. Recollecting, contemplating, about this.

I'll figure it out. I hope so.

....

Wrote this when i reached home, recollecting my conversation in the hazy reality that i was in for.

Seems like i'm a restless person, fall asleep while writing this. I'll just let this post as it is. Do i want anybody to read this? Should i publish this? Kinda embarrasing i think. But, still i'll just publish this. Such a paradoxical.